I remember talking with girlfriends when I was little about what we thought it’d be like to grow up and have a boyfriend. But as the years passed, I was surprised that once we reached the age when we could date, we didn’t really want to. Well, we wanted to, but we knew we weren’t ready! We knew it was more important to surrender to God’s timing, so we were willing to wait.
It certainly isn’t easy. At times we become impatient, but it’s amazing to look back at all the guys we could have dated—maybe would have dated—and be incredibly thankful we never did! There are so many things we found out just by remaining friends that we might never have found out otherwise. If we’d jumped headlong into relationships in high school, we wouldn’t have known until it was too late to turn back. And the chances are really good that we would’ve ended up with broken hearts.
One of my life verses is Psalm 40:5: “Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve come back to this verse whenever I’ve felt discouraged or alone. I see this verse as a constant reminder that God has something wonderful planned for me. Rather than being frustrated and discontent with my life without a boyfriend, I have learned to find satisfaction in Jesus, knowing that He’ll bring someone into my life when His timing is right. How exciting to wait for it to unfold!
Waiting Faithfully
One of my all-time favorite songs is “Faithfully” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It speaks of faithfully waiting for one’s future spouse. During the long and lonely nights of singleness, it’s often reminded me of what I’m waiting for and the incredible gift I’ll someday present to my husband: the gift of absolute purity.
I think Psalm 27:14 puts the waiting part of purity in perspective. “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” It might sound funny to talk about waiting faithfully as being brave and courageous, but it truly is. It’s not easy to wait. In fact, I think one of the hardest things God can ever say is, “Not now.”
As difficult as waiting can be, God never abandons us when He calls us to wait. That’s why Paul can say in Romans 5:3-5: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
Psalm 145:15-16 says that God is faithful to all of His promises and loving toward all He has made. “You give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” Does this mean that God will always give you what you want? Of course not, but it does mean that if God doesn’t give you what you want, it’s for a reason; God longs to give good gifts to His children (see Matthew 7:11). There’s a time and a season for everything (see Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). God loves you more than you’ll ever comprehend, and if your heart is filled with the love of the Holy Spirit, you have everything you need to wait faithfully for the right time and season for relationships.
Only Fools Rush In
God has given us everything we need to wait for His perfect will and timing, but sometimes we feel that we just can’t wait a moment longer. That’s the way it was with Matthew and Tracy. They met at college, and their chemistry was electric from the beginning. It wasn’t long before they were engaged. Matthew picked out a ring; Tracy found the perfect wedding dress. Together they decided on a honeymoon location. Everything seemed perfect.
Then real life set in. They started fighting. A lot. As their arguing intensified, they realized there were too many things wrong with their relationship to consider getting married. They decided to remain friends, but their relationship was too complicated. They kept falling back into old patterns of hugging, kissing and cuddling.
For the next three years they had an on-again, off-again relationship. They both dated other people but always came back to each other; they just didn’t feel right with anyone but each other. Tracy says she’ll always love Matthew and can’t bear the thought of his ever being with anyone else. Matthew says he doesn’t know if he could ever be happy with another woman.
Looking back, Matthew and Tracy say they made some huge mistakes in their relationship. They’re the first to admit that they didn’t make God the focus of their life together. Instead of waiting for God’s timing, they rushed into things, and it exploded in their faces. Matthew eventually married someone else, while Tracy’s still waiting for her Prince Charming. When I asked if there was any advice she’d give to young women contemplating a relationship, it’s this: “Don’t rush into anything. Take the time to pray about it.”
Matthew and Tracy could have saved themselves heartache by taking time to develop their relationship slowly. We shouldn’t feel the need to rush into anything, either. God’s best really is best! He clearly spells out in the Bible the priorities that enable us to wait faithfully for His perfect timing: “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). This isn’t referring to lustful, fleshly desires, but to the wholesome desires that God himself places within our hearts, including the desire for human companionship. When the time to begin a relationship is right, God will bring everything together and make the picture of His perfect will incredibly clear. While we wait, we delight in the Lord and look forward to His fulfillment of our heart’s deepest longings.
